If you could pick any fictional animal to be your lifelong companion (like a Pokémon or fantasy pet), what would it be?

Conker the Squirrel from Conker’s Bad Fur Day.

I want a lifelong companion who looks like an adorable woodland mascot yet wakes up hungover, swears like a dockworker, makes catastrophically poor decisions, and treats basic survival as an optional extracurricular activity.

Pokémon are cute. Dragons are impressive. Conker would turn a routine trip to Walmart into a bar tab, a misdemeanor, two missing traffic cones, and a story everyone agrees we are NEVER telling the grandchildren.

Is he emotionally stable? Absolutely not.
Is he house-trained? Questionable at best.
Would I trust him with my debit card? Hell no.
Would life ever be boring?

Not for one damn minute.