So let me get this straight.
America is suddenly too broke to feed children, house veterans, educate students, repair bridges, or keep rural hospitals open.
But apparently, we are wealthy enough to potentially shovel mountains of taxpayer money toward the January 6 crowd who treated the United States Capitol like a monster truck rally sponsored by conspiracy theories and expired beef jerky.
Fascinating.
We do not have money for SNAP benefits.
Joni Ernst says everybody needs to sacrifice.
Mariannette Miller-Meeks votes for cuts while Iowa hospitals wobble on life support.
Republicans lecture poor people about “dependency.”
Fox News spends entire afternoons warning America about the terrifying danger of a single mother buying generic cereal with EBT.
But the second a group of grown adults wearing tactical khakis, “Camp Auschwitz” sweatshirts, and Confederate flags smashed their way through the Capitol screaming about imaginary election fraud?
Suddenly, the checkbook flies open like Joel Osteen spotted a hurricane camera crew.
Amazing.
A veteran with PTSD cannot get timely mental healthcare because “budgets are tight.”
Public school teachers buy crayons with their own money while legislators pose for photos pretending they care about education.
Roads look like they lost a fight with asteroids.
Entire towns are one hospital closure away from disaster.
But somewhere in Washington, people who called Ashley Babbitt “a martyr” are apparently deciding the real victims of America are the folks who smeared feces through the Capitol while livestreaming their crimes for social media likes.
What a time to be alive.
The same politicians screaming that universal healthcare would “bankrupt America” suddenly have no problem finding billions for what basically amounts to “The Real Housewives of Domestic Extremism.”
And let us please stop pretending this is about patriotism.
Patriots generally do not build gallows outside Congress.
Patriots generally do not attack Capitol Police officers with stolen riot shields.
Patriots generally do not threaten to hang the Vice President because he followed the Constitution.
But MAGA world has spent years trying to rebrand January 6 into some kind of misunderstood field trip where things simply got “a little rowdy.”
A little rowdy?
Sir.
People died.
Officers were assaulted.
Lawmakers hid in fear.
Windows were shattered.
The Capitol was breached for the first time in generations by people carrying Trump flags and screaming about civil war.
But according to Tucker Carlson, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Donald Trump, and the rest of the traveling circus, the real tragedy is that some insurrectionists had a rough experience after committing federal crimes on camera.
Meanwhile:
Kids lose school lunches.
LGBTQIA+ youth lose mental health resources.
Disabled Americans lose services.
Addiction treatment programs lose funding.
Housing assistance gets slashed.
But somehow, there is always enough money for political revenge projects and billionaire tax cuts.
Republican budget math is honestly breathtaking.
A hungry child costs too much.
A wheelchair ramp costs too much.
Cancer treatment costs too much.
School counselors cost too much.
But paying tribute to the “Stop the Steal Cinematic Universe”?
Apparently priceless.
At this point, the federal budget is less “fiscal conservatism” and more “vengeful uncle with a Facebook account making national policy decisions after six energy drinks and a Newsmax marathon.”
And the most insulting part?
They expect ordinary Americans to clap for it.
They expect struggling workers making $7.25 an hour to believe the biggest threat to America is a trans teenager playing volleyball or a librarian with rainbow stickers.
Not corporate greed.
Not billionaire tax avoidance.
Not healthcare profiteering.
Not political corruption.
Not the fact that members of Congress somehow outperform Wall Street traders every year.
No no no.
The REAL emergency is apparently making certain the January 6 crowd feels emotionally validated on the taxpayer’s dime.
Absolutely clown-show behavior.
History is going to study this era the same way we study ancient civilizations that poisoned themselves with lead pipes and still acted shocked when everything collapsed around them.
