Interesting question I was asked today. . .
“I want your opinion JT – Would MAGA deport Jesus Christ if he were alive today and found in America?”
Sooooooo, at the risk of being accused of blaspheme or worse. . .
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
MAGA PATRIOTS SUCCESSFULLY DEPORT RADICAL FOREIGNER ATTEMPTING TO INFLUENCE AMERICAN VALUES
April 22, 2025
Contact: patriotspress@maga.gop
The MAGA Movement is proud to announce the successful detainment and deportation of a suspicious individual today who was found loitering near the southern border with no proof of citizenship, no employment visa, and highly questionable affiliations.
The individual, identified only as “Jesus of Nazareth,” was discovered advocating dangerous policies such as:
- Open borders (Matthew 25:35)
- Redistribution of wealth (Luke 18:22)
- Universal healthcare (Matthew 4:24)
- Amnesty for criminals (Luke 23:34)
In addition to his suspicious background (no verifiable documentation, alleged foreign birth in Bethlehem), Mr. Jesus was also identified as a probable Middle Eastern national of interest.
Authorities confirmed Mr. Jesus was wearing simple robes, had a significant beard, and was traveling with known radicals commonly referred to as “disciples.” Some disciples had prior offenses, including loitering, preaching without permits, and alleged miracles without FDA approval.
“America is for Americans!” declared Freedom Caucus Chair Lauren Boebert. “We cannot let just anybody sneak across the border claiming they are the ‘Son of God’ without proof! What is next — an ‘asylum claim’ because Pontius Pilate was mean to him?”
Effective immediately, MAGA recommends all true patriots monitor places of worship, soup kitchens, and desert areas for additional radicalized individuals promoting compassion, forgiveness, or universal love, which pose a grave threat to national security.
Jesus has been deported. America is safe again.
#MakeBethlehemGreatAgain
#DeportRadicalCarpenters
#JesusWasNoCitizen
